With all of this talk about the “patriarchy”, I find many people disparaging what exists for some mythical alternate universe that is supposed to be “better” but has never existed. Somehow the time-honored realities are no longer acceptable because we think we have a better idea. Having created nothing we believe we can recreate everything, and that is foolish.
“For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures.”
It is better to look at and come to understand not just the creation but the creator. When we do that we learn the “why”. We understand what purpose the Creator achieves by His actions and direction. Not unlike the children we raise, who start to question everything at some point in their lives, their ignorance is the very thing we need to overcome. They disagree when they lack understanding and that hurts them. So we teach them with as much patience and love as we can muster, as their parents.
The reality is that God put this world together and within that plan, He decided men would be placed at the head of families and also decided what a family looks like. His purpose was more than sex so if that is all you want you will miss the design of the family and fail to see the destiny that is held within it. It is the structure He chose as the best for mankind so instead of trying to dismantle it we need to honor and understand it.
“ Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.”
The family is a divine design. It is not to be mocked or abused, so we can find comfort in it, and when it is broken, refuse to throw it out but purpose to FIX IT! In fixing it we must eventually come to realize its design and purpose so we get the best of what it has to offer. Marriage is the best of relationships if we allow God to “order” it. In other words, we allow the author of the relationship to fix and finish it.
“Our own children disagree when they lack understanding and that hurts them. ”
The last time my car needed repair, I fixed it. I did not claim all cars are bad. I did not blame the car for its own brokenness, I went to the right place, got some tools, and I fixed it. Once back in working order, I continued to be blessed by it and purposed to maintain it properly. As different as a family is from a car, the principles are the same. When it is broken you fix it!
And so, when we look at our society we see critical things falling apart and those things creating pain for others. The family is one. There are many reasons why the family is disintegrating, but the trend is hurting many. You can see above that the statistics are telling us we are moving in the wrong direction when too many children wonder; “Who’s your daddy”. That is nothing to be proud of and we are all responsible in some way or other. So let’s all do what we know works, and ask God!
His answers will always be in His Word so start there. Come together with older couples and learn from their wisdom. Refuse to entertain “vain imaginations” so you do not get confused by nonsense. Lead others to the truth so they can prosper. Glorify God in your own lives and relationships. Find a church community committed to God’s Word, and willing to walk together humbly, and settle in!
“ Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be embittered against them. Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.”
You may be disappointed that I spent so little time debating the benefits of a supposed matriarchy. That is because when I read the Creator’s words, and principles that is not what He designed for the family. It does not mean that a married woman is bound to subservience, but that God knew what He was doing so we should follow His lead. There is no debate.